This is too funny.

And it's too awesome not to repost. As a lesson to aspiring authors everywhere, this how you don't deal with bad reviews: Jacqueline Howett tells BigAl's Books and Pals to "F*** off."

First of all, darling, the review was not a terrible review. In fact, in spots, it's quite complimentary.

Second of all, rule #1 of writing?

DON'T GET ON THE BAD SIDE OF THE CRITICS.

Read through the comments. Howett's attempt at blasting Books and Pals is hilariously funny, and their eloquent defense of their review is spot on. One particular things I enjoyed was Howett throwing the following comment: "Besides if you want to throw crap at authors you should first ask their permission if they want it stuck up on the internet via e-mail. That debate is high among authors."

Sorry, darling, that's not how this works. Reviewers don't have to ask permission to review your books. We can just do that. We don't need to email you (assuming we could email you and get a response). And no, this debate is not high among authors. If as an author, you cannot stand a little heat from the critics, then you shouldn't be in the game.

I suppose this highlights one of the dangers of self-publishing. You have no real editor, so you're on the hook for errors. And let's face it, it's unlikely this would have been able to pass a real editor's desk with the grammatical errors that Books and Pals cites. But I suppose that it also highlights some of the dangers of the direction ebooks are taking. Generally speaking, when we pick up a book, we have some guarantee, through the publishing company, that it's going to be reasonably well put together (books like Fiona Brand's Blind Instinct not withstanding, because I'm sorry, the Gulf War did not take place in the 70s, and that should have been picked up by someone somewhere). In the future, when anyone can write anything and publish it as an ebook, how do we tell what's good?

Obviously, sales are going to be some kind of indicator: look at Amanda Hocking, who just became a millionaire publishing for Kindle only. Of course, she's also writing young adult paranormal romance. I hope her books are better than Stephenie Meyers (I don't think that would be too difficult, though). But then, Stephenie Meyers' sales are through the roof of Twilight, and at risk of going through that rant again, it's shoddily constructed and has terrible grammar, Bella Swan is a terrible role model for young girls, and vampires don't sparkle.

In any case, it's going to be an interesting road trying to decide what to read and what not to read in the next few years....